December 2008
21 posts
Maybe she just wanted to practice her...
Russian girl: You look like my boyfriend.
(a little while later as I attempted to use a urinal)
Russian girl: Would you like a hand?
Me: (quickly enters a stall and locks the door)
Russian girl to my friend: Would you like a hand?
(a little while later)
Russian girl to the singer of the band performing: Will you f*ck me?
(via Jon in London)
Holiday Hiatus
Due to a lack of pick-up lines submitted to me as of late and a failure to elicit any stellar ones on my own, How You Doin? will be on hiatus for the holidays. If you hear any please still send them in and I will post away.
In the meantime, just because it’s cold doesn’t mean you can’t wear a short skirt and strut your stuff. So turn the volume down on your iPod when you pass...
My glittery disco dress often elicits these types...
Guy walking up the stairs as I was walking down: (under his breath) You look great.
(via myself in NYC)
At least he didn't ask you to call him so he would...
Me: (texting on my phone)
Guy in a terrible dive bar that has been mentioned on this site before: 2-0-2…
Me: What?
Guy in a terrible dive bar that has been mentioned on this site before: 2-0-2…
Me: What?
Guy in a terrible dive bar that has been mentioned on this site before: (pointing to my phone) 2-0-2-5-5-5-etc.
Me: (pretending to add it to my phone)
(via Alex in Washington,...
Kind of like that movie Saw.
Arbitrary Douchenozzle: I would cut off my legs to be as tall as you.
(via Erica in NYC)
This guy must've just read the "hyphy" wikipedia...
Guy with frosted hair: Hey ladies, why don’t you let me ‘n my boys buy you a drink?
Me: No thanks, we have some.
Guy with frosted hair: (takes a baloon and opens it, about to suck out the helium) Look out…it’s about to get stupid in here…HAHAHA!
Me: I’m pretty sure it already did.
(via Abby in NYC)
How bout I drop something else once your balls...
Me: (walking in the metro and I drop my metrocard)
Guy with ponytail: Miss, you dropped something.
Me: (bending over to pick it up) Thank you.
Guy with ponytail: Miss, can you drop something else so I can see you bend over again?
(via Alex in Washington, D.C.)
Were you swinging around the subway pole? Did it...
Guy on public transit: Are you a stripper?
(via Molly in Portland)
Well the moon is made out of cheese, yes?
Male #1: Let me ask you a question.
Me: Okay.
Male #1: If you were on the moon…would you eat some?
Male #2: Just a taste?
Male #1: Even though it’s THE MOON??
(via Vicky in Wellington, New Zealand)
Really? That's your opening line. I think blood...
D-Bag: I’m in med school.
(via Torey in NYC)
Yeah I think I was the one who slapped your *ss....
(at the Harvard Club networking event)
Me: What do you do? Ivy-League Alumnus: I’m a surgical intern at Lennox Hill Hospital. Me: Oh, I was born there! Ivy-League Alumnus: I knew you looked familiar!
(via Caroline in NYC)
It should be noted that I was wearing a pink knit...
Toothless man on the subway who was probably intoxicated: You’re not just pretty…YOU’RE GORGEOUS!
Me: Thank you!
Toothless man on the subway who was probably intoxicated: Have a great holiday!
(via myself in NYC)
Thank you?
Man in Grand Central: (says something I can’t hear very well) Me: Huh? Man in Grand Central: That was a compliment, bitch.
(via Erica in NYC)
How to hit on women and come off as charming: be...
Me: (waiting for my friend by the escalator)
Elderly Gentleman: Are you waiting for me??
Me: Haha, yes.
Elderly Gentleman: Oh Lord. I have died and gone to heaven. A beautiful woman is waiting for me!
(via Myself in NYC)
Were they going to say your waist is out of this...
Two drunk girls: Has your waist ever been to space?
Me: No, but my d*ck has.
(via Chris in NYC)
These boots were made for pickin' you up.
Male boot enthusiast: Excuse me, miss?
Me: Yes?
Male boot enthusiast: Nice boots.
Me: Thanks.
Male boot enthusiast: I mean, I guess the line is, “Nice boots, wanna fuck?”…but I just really like your boots. Have a nice day!
(via Whitney in Boston)
But you just said you're leaving so that kind of...
(Hippie Hiker Guy gets up from sitting alone at a table for eight)
Hippie Hiker Guy: You can have my table. I’m leaving.
Me: Oh, that’s okay. That’s a lot of table for not a lot of girl.
Hippie Hiker Guy: (sans eye contact, while quickly walking away) Well you could have just sat with me!
(via Jenny in Connecticut)
Nope I have T-Mobile and my fave five have already...
Guy on street bothering me while I was texting: Hey girl! You got Verizon? We should date…I could save you a lot of money!
(via Kaylinn in Portland)
Note to guys: girls like it even better when you...
Me: (stumbles into the gym at 6 am in sweatpants)
Guy At The Counter: (scans keytag) Hey, you know we have a scale. Would you like to weigh yourself?
Me: Oh, that’s okay.
Guy At the Counter: Come on, you look pretty healthy. (gives me the sleazy once-over)
Me: Uhhhh.
(via Meridith in NYC)
Ladies, Elvis has left the building.
(this is a two-parter continued from yesterday)
Gangly white dude: It’s Saturday… Get up and dance. Y’all are too pretty to be just sitting here. (Grabs all our hands and looks at them…probably checking for wedding rings). A woman’s hands can be very expressive, especially this finger (ring finger).
My friend: Actually, I find this finger to be the most expressive...
Ah yes but could she shake it like a polaroid...
Fratty guy in west village bar: I saw you all checking me and my boys out on the dance floor and I think you girls really want to come dance with us.
Me: False.
Fratty guy in west village bar: (to my friend) You are a spark plug and you look like you could shake it.
(via Laura in NYC)